Forms of Identification Thanks YOU

Today is Thanksgiving and I'm reminded how far we've come with our fundraising campaign. Because of your support and your contributions so far, we have met our first fundraising goal and have hired our effects artist! We are on schedule to finish the film by the end of the year as planned! It has been a long haul in many ways but we can officially say that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it looks really beautiful! Thanks to all of you for your contributions thus far, we have crossed that first milestone!

Some of you already know about and have made a generous contribution to our Kickstarter campaign.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1285660629/fruition-of-forms-of-identification

Once we finish the film, we need to get it on the big screen! That means designing and producing DVDs, entering the film into festivals, creating marketing materials. We still need to raise $1,540 by December 15. If we don't raise that specific amount, we have to give back all donations made through Kickstarter thus far. Thanks to Lisa, Lynn, Lars, Jane, Joe, Sam, Uncle John, Eduardo, Claudia, Julie and Uncle Kevin who have made a pledge. You can pledge as little or as much as you feel comfortable.

We have a short video explaining our film and the funding drive, as well as other information on our Kickstarter page.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1285660629/fruition-of-forms-of-identification

We are eternally grateful for the support we've already received from the community - Empowerment Works, Numi Tea, Millennium Restaurant, Mariposa Bakery, La Boulange, Blossom Bluff Orchards, Tom Tieche, Mission Workshop, Pedal Panties, Magnolia Brewery & Pub, The Animal House, Vima Dance Studio, Weird Fish, Taco Bike Timmy, Bike Basket Pies, Magnanimus Wine Group, Aaron Delachaux, Maya Hara, Megan Martin, Ryan Lendt and all our volunteers! It's great to live in a city like San Francisco that bolsters the arts!

Thanks for supporting our film!

From "The Moon By Whale Light," by Diane Ackerman

I'm reading this book that I happened to come across at the $1 book sale at the SF Public Library. It's an incredible book of non-fiction. I'm realizing that I can learn more about human nature by studying the way animals communicate with each other - the echolocation of bats, the dance of a crocodile and especially the singing of the Humpback whales. Here's an thought-provoking passage that I feel worth revisiting again and again:

"... mind is such an odd predicament for matter to get into. I often marvel how something like hydrogen, the simplest atom, forged in some early chaos of the universe, could lead to us and the gorgeous fever we call consciousness. If a mind is just a few pounds of blood, dream, and electric, how does it manage to contemplate itself, worry about its soul, do time-and-motion studies, admire the shy hooves of a goat, know that it will die, enjoy all the grand and lesser mayhems of the heart? What is mind, that one can be out of one's? How can a neuron feel compassion? What is a self? Why did automatic hand-me-down mammals like our ancestors somehow evolve brains with the ability to consider, imagine, project, compare, abstract, think of the future? If our experience of mind is really just the simmering of an easily alterable chemical stew, then what does it mean to know something, to want something, to be? How do you begin with hydrogen and end up with prom dresses, jealousy, chamber music? What is music that it can satisfy a mind, and even perhaps function as language?"

What's it all about?

This short video will explain why we're fundraising!

And please visit our Kickstarter page - visit often!

Daniel Chimowitz photographs Gypsy Cabaret

Amazing fashion photographer Daniel Chimowitz was on hand at our event to capture some of the great and not so great moments of the evening!

Take a look at some of the pics and what fun we had at our very SUCCESSFUL event! Thanks to all who attended and contributed!

More updates for tonight's event!

We are expecting a great crowd tonight, so please come on by Mission Workshop for an amazing evening that benefits our film!

DJ Delachaux spins Burlectro
Meg Martin performs solo belly dance
Taco Bike Timmy cooks up made-to-order tacos
Bike Basket Pies serves seasonal sweet and savory pies
Fashion photographer Daniel Chimowitz in the house!

Beverages from:
Magnanimus Wine Group wines
Numi Iced Tea

Raffle prizes include:
Mission Workshop Messenger Bag
Pedal Panties
Vima Dance Studio private dance lesson for 2
Magnolia Pub & Brewery gift card
Weird Fish gift card
The Animal House gift card

And a sneak preview of our film!

Can't wait to see you all and have fun tonight!

Gypsy Cabaret - Updates

GYPSY CABARET is shaping up and coming up very soon - THIS COMING THURSDAY,
OCTOBER 14!

Thanks to all of you who have donated, purchased your tickets and informed
me that you were coming! We appreciate your support and assure you that this
is going to be a very fun event!

http://gypsycabaret4foi.eventbrite.com/

Buying tickets early helps us out a lot, but tickets will also be sold at
the door. Please let us know that you'll be attending!

A few exciting details to remind you to pen the dates and times into your
calendar:

A unique selection of wines from Magnanimus Wine Group and
refreshing iced tea from Numi Tea will be available for additional drink donations!

Megan Martin will perform a solo belly dance performance

Bike Basket Pies will be around selling her yummy sweet and savory pies

And our list of raffle prizes should intrigue you as well - Mission Workshop messenger bag
Stylish Pedal Panties
Vima Dance Studio private dance lesson for two... and more!

Announcing GYPSY CABARET - a Benefit for Forms of Identification

Jessica and I are so close to making our first fundraising goal so we can finish our film. We have partnered this time with several local SF businesses and artists to put together a fun-filled evening for you in exchange for a modest tax-deductible donation. If we get 75 people to attend our event, we can meet and even exceed our first fundraising goal of $2,500! A short distance to go, but we can't make it there without your help! Plus, it's going to be an amazing night filled with great music, dance and raffle prizes!

Please invite friends and family & spread the word!!!!

Empowerment Works! is the (501)c3 fiscal sponsor of the film and all donations are tax-deductible to the full extent of the law. Additional donations can be made via Eventbrite:

GYPSY CABARET
a benefit for Forms of Identification

Thurs. Oct 14, 6 pm to 10 pm

Mission Workshop
40 Rondel Place (16th & Mission)
San Francisco, CA 94103

Gypsy Cabaret is the second fundraiser planned to help producers Tieche and Ingersoll-Cope put the post-production finishing touches on the film to prepare it for a premiere screening and entry into national and international film festivals. Raised funds will also help with the marketing and promotion of the finished film.

DJ Delachaux spins Burlectro
Live Dance Performance
Bike food carts
Raffle for various prizes including Mission Workshop messenger bag, Pedal Panties & Private dance lesson for two at Vima Dance Studio.

$15 - $25 sliding scale tax-deductible donation includes one beverage

First Event - Big Success!

Our first fundraising event was a huge success! Wonderful turnout. Impeccable location. Delicious food. It was the right synergy to put us over the edge and meet our funding expectations for the event!

Special shout outs to all our sponsors/partners:

Numi Tea
Millennium Restaurant
Mariposa Bakery
Blossom Bluff Orchards
La Boulange
Tom Tieche, Sr.

And many many thanks to our talent:

Ryan Lendt
Maya Hara

Huge thanks to all our guests who attended and to all who donated!

And SAVE THE DATE! October 14th will be our next fundraising event: Gypsy Cabaret at Mission Workshop!

Announcing Line-Up, added menu items, AND limited number of DISCOUNTED tickets

We are getting very excited about our upcoming event: High Tea Benefit for Forms of Identification at Numi Tea Garden on August 22nd.

Ryan Lendt will be performing an acoustic set:
myspace.com/ryanlendt

Maya Hara will perform a traditional Japanese tea ceremony.

Millennium Restaurant is providing delicious vegan pastries.
La Boulange is providing delicious French pastries.
Blossom Bluff Orchards is providing seasonal fresh fruit.

We are looking forward to seeing you all there. Thank you to all the guests who have verbally confirmed their attendance with me. Please help us out by purchasing tickets in advance through this link:

http://hightea4foi.eventbrite.com/

ALSO we are offering a limited number of tickets at a REDUCED RATE for buying in advance and buying in pairs!

Please buy tickets early to help us make this a very special event for you.

Thank you very much and see you on August 22nd!

It's Tea Time!

As the finish line of our short dance film adventure is coming into sight, we (Jessica and Kristin) are excited to share it with all of you. But first, we need a little help to run that last mile. Please join us at what should be a fun, social and spirited afternoon of tea, treats, entertainment and champagne to toast to our creative endeavor (and hopefully raise a little money). Attached is an invitation in which we cordially invite you (and as many friends as you can convince to come!) to this unique event. To register and contribute before hand, here is our PayPal option:

High Tea w/ Champagne

High Tea withOUT glass of Champagne $45.00 High Tea WITH glass of Champagne $50.00

You will also be able to contribute by check at the door.

Commitment

When I Googled "identity crisis" this is the site I found to have the most succinct definition: http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/identitycrisis.htm. It summarizes Erik Erikson's theory or personality development. He believed that an identity crisis was an integral part of human development and maturation. We ALL face identity confusion and crisis at some point or multiple times during our lives.

What I found most interesting in this link was the statement "...the balance between identity and confusion lies in making a commitment to an identity." Meaning, it is important to actually decide on one, whether we choose it consciously or not. Some people move into their core identity more easily it seems, while others struggle and fight to find it. But the act of committing to one is, I believe, an essential step toward finding contentment and confidence in yourself.

Amazing Anna Halprin

Last night Kristin, Mona and I went to see Breath Made Visible, a new documentary about the life of California, Marin county dance legend Anna Halprin (http://www.breathmadevisible.com/). She is 90 years old and still going strong, and the history of her career is impressive and inspiring. Her work in the 1950s and 1960s was very avant-garde and experimental - everything from social protest to nudity - but it went through a transformation when, in her 40s, she was diagnosed with cancer. In the movie she describes how she knew that something was wrong when she drew a self portrait of her body with a large dark spot under her belly button.

As a reaction to her diagnosis, she created a solo piece that demonstrated both her dark side, with her back to the audience, and her light side, with her front facing forward. In her "dark side" dance, she howls and shakes her fists and shudders, almost as if the illness is moving through her body and out in an intense form of catharsis. I'm reflecting now about how powerful our inner experiences are, and how, if we keep our emotions and perceptions stuffed inside and don't EXPRESS them, they get stuck in our body like poison.

Understandably, she went through quite a life altering process after being faced with her own mortality. The identity of her art (and her self I'm sure) was thrust into stark re-evaluation. In the movie she says, "Before I had cancer my life was about making dance and after I had cancer my dance was about making life." Her dancing life thus evolved into a healing ritual that she has shared with thousands of people, many who have been or are ill. She has even written a book on the subject: Dance as a Healing Art: Returning to Health Through Movement and Imagery. This is now on my "must read" list.

Because of this movie, I've been thinking again about the difference between art being one's ambition versus it being one's savior. It is easy to get wrapped up in the merit and success of your art "product" but if your ability to make your art as you have is compromised, the fear that it and you will wither up and suffer as a result can be strong. But what if we can transform the process of art-making to be less about gaining recognition and more about connecting to yourself and others in a visceral, honest and healing way. Hopefully this is partly what we've explored in Forms of Identification, and what we can continue to discuss as a community.

new clip from Forms of Identification

This is a clip from the film that we like to refer to as the 360 degree scene. Enjoy. Your comments are welcome.

Define Yourself!

Here I am, back with a little comic relief.

If your life seems to lack definition, you can find meaning at urbandicitionary.com!

Take a look at what my name means: Kristin

I especially like this definition:

Wonderful in millions of ways. There are no words that describe the sheer radiance of this beautiful creature. Wise beyond her years she can tap into nature and reveal all of its secrets with nothing more than a smile. An angel in disguise she is free-spirited and fun loving. Recognized as one of the most sensual and erotic lovers. One could only wish to tame this wild temptress. Graced by god.
"ohhhhh Kristin.... OOOOhhhhhhh Kristin!!!!!!"

And let's not forget Jessica!

Oh, Jessica!

The Monster Inside

In March of 2001 I participated in a community performance project at Colorado State University, called “No Roles Barred,” with the David Dorfman Dance company. It involved about 30 individuals, from all walks of life – both dancers and pedestrians. As part of the piece, we were to come up with a character that represented an aspect of our personality. The character I remember most was created by the director of the dance program - The Hat Lady was her name, a woman of too many roles who wore about half a dozen different shaped and sized hats at one time and had to tip toe down the stage so they didn’t topple off her head. I, on the other hand, became the Referee Task Master, complete with a black and white collared polyester shirt, a whistle, and a large cloth scroll that unrolled to reveal the words “TO DO” at the top. Sometimes when we distill ourselves down into a caricature it’s funny and simplistic, but also spot on.

I also remember some of the discussions we had a group as we went through the process of constructing the piece. At one rehearsal a participant’s confession struck me and I’ll never forget what she said. She said that as she was contemplating her character, looking at herself from the outside in, she had encountered this deep sense of dread that she’d find herself to be unappealing and un-interesting – that what she would find inside was a monster. I wonder how many of us have had moments of feeling this way.

This past weekend I participated in a meditation workshop in Berkeley. It provoked and inspired much thought and reflection. In one of the several talks that the teacher gave, he spoke of those people in our lives who really “see” us and that in meditating we can try to do that for ourselves – to really see our core self and observe her and all her chaotic thoughts and story lines without judgment. And as for chaos, there is plenty. The exercise of really examining oneself, like the woman I mentioned above discovered, can make you confront your inner monsters, which is not such a pleasant experience. At times this weekend I found myself going over all those reasons why I’m not doing or being enough of something while simultaneously feeling the negative emotions associated with those thoughts. But this really is just a story and it’s fictitious. If you’re able to sit with yourself for long enough and allow all that mental noise to sift out, I think it is possible to have moments where you settle into a sense of acceptance for exactly who you are and where you are right here and right now. And the monsters fade away, or transform to light, even if only for the briefest of moments.

It’s at these moments of self criticism and discontent that I also think of a quote by Marianne Williamson which turns the idea of what we’re afraid of and why on its head. It begins: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." So maybe the monster in us that we’re afraid to face is not a monster after all, but really that light, or a friend who, if we just sit with long enough and learn to trust, will guide us toward our basic goodness.

It's All About Love

Because of the holidays, I have been thinking recently about the act of gift giving and what we look for when considering a gift and what we hope for when receiving one. When searching for ideas, I often think of these questions: who is this person, what do they like, what is their taste and style, what would be useful for them, what would make them feel appreciated, loved or seen? To give in a truly thoughtful and personal way we usually need some knowledge of the receiver's preferences and how they define themselves, hence their projected identity. Similarly, when the exchange is reversed and we're tearing open that carefully wrapped box and anticipating the exciting moment of opening it, revealing its contents, I think we want a present that makes us feel understood or reflects our needs or tastes.

I also think that the holiday's can get mired in the culture of consumerism, and that we simply crave getting more stuff to add to our collection of existing stuff. We place a lot of importance on outward symbols of identity and our attachment to objects and things that we believe communicate who we are. But just like a hair style or outfit can only communicate who we are to a limited degree - that is, how we like to appear to others - a product that was self-bought or gifted will only ever tell the story of material identity that exists on the surface in the physical plane. We are so much more than this.

When we have a true collapse of our inner reality, the importance of that outer material stuff falls away. This reminds me of something I just read last night. While visiting family I found a copy of Suzanne Somers' new book about alternative cancer treatments and out of curiosity began reading it. Regardless of her controversial views about health and medicine and the star power she uses to promote them, I found the sections I read to be intelligent and compelling. In the chapter where she recounts her experience of being misdiagnosed with terminal full-body cancer and how it triggered a complete confrontation with her life and mortality, she writes that she had a moment of crystal clear clarity about what truly matters for and in each of us. "It's not who you are, it's not what you have, it's not where you live, it's not what you do, it's only, only about who you love, and who loves you. And the more you love, the better!" Yes, yes, and yes.

So to circle back to the beginning of this post, underneath the act of giving and receiving, as emphasized during the holidays, is the importance of relating to each other, including ourselves. Loving and relating to our self in an honest and pure and compassionate way is more important than our style or career or station in life or possessions. Likewise, our ability to connect and share with each other in an authentic and loving way trumps material gifting. And when you're faced with the collapse of your trusted reality (like your health) or identity, the only thing that truly matters is the love you have for yourself and others.

FOI History

This afternoon we showed the first rough cut of the film to a small group of folks for the purpose of getting constructive feedback. It felt like a significant moment - FINALLY something to show, as this project started nearly three years ago in late 2006. When considering the history of our endeavor, it is important to note that, ironically, we experienced the exact loss we were trying to describe in the film when most of the initial shoot media was lost due to failed technology. Instead of abandoning the project, we let the loss inform the identity of the film itself, the underlying message being that everything is subject to re-discovery. What an appropriate metaphorical experience that influenced what we’ve thus far created. We have hoped that our commitment to the process would result in a more focused and evolved creation. We have attempted to weave together our continually evolving perspective on finding “self” and are committed to the natural progression of the project to make a universal story. Fortunately, the initial feedback we got today was positive - that although there are sections needing revision and details to polish, as a whole we’ve assembled a cohesive, meaningful piece of work.

self-identified crazy person

I know. I know. I'm totally nuts. That's usually what I tell guys on a first date, just so there are no surprises later.

Jess and I had to keep our senses of humor throughout the production of our film. This clip was taken after a looooong day in the studio, when I found a CD of Brazilian drumming and felt inspired to document how it made me feel like dancin'!

Identity Thunder Storms

I have been recently reminded of how it feels to be knocked off center and to temporarily loose the knowledge of my rooted, steady, core self. What makes that happen? Why do certain events or people leave us feeling strip-mined and exposed? Do we permit our secure identities to be rattled by others or do they steal it? When we have felt that someone has violated our personal sense of self by being disrespectful or selfish, how long does it take for us to settle back in to our intrinsic sense of empowerment and groundedness? This is an important question to weigh, because really, even when truly wronged, I think we are all somewhat responsible for any power we give away to others. Sometimes it takes a thunder storm to clear to clear the air though.

There is a whole succession of stages we often go through to right ourselves or recalibrate our internal compass – sometimes taking minutes, sometimes taking years. It is much like the water cycle: evaporation, condensation, precipitation, and collection. First the individual molecules of emotion (anger, hurt, shame, expectation, hope, attachment) are evaporated by our internal sun and become vapor in our stomachs; then they condense into powerful arrows that we want to aim and shoot. Once the vapor has transformed to liquid and the air claps together from the lightning’s void, our feelings release with heavy precipitation. Finally, after the rain has fallen, we are able to recollect ourselves and become intimate again with the deep blue body of water that is our true self. I guess the goal is to honor this cycle and to try to move as quickly through the sequence as we can so we are able rightfully claim our authentic existence, unabashedly real and powerful.

living in the forcefield of love

Shot just after our last location shoot, at Cronkhite Beach in the Marin Headlands.