Saturday, November 28, 2009

Identity Thunder Storms

I have been recently reminded of how it feels to be knocked off center and to temporarily loose the knowledge of my rooted, steady, core self. What makes that happen? Why do certain events or people leave us feeling strip-mined and exposed? Do we permit our secure identities to be rattled by others or do they steal it? When we have felt that someone has violated our personal sense of self by being disrespectful or selfish, how long does it take for us to settle back in to our intrinsic sense of empowerment and groundedness? This is an important question to weigh, because really, even when truly wronged, I think we are all somewhat responsible for any power we give away to others. Sometimes it takes a thunder storm to clear to clear the air though.

There is a whole succession of stages we often go through to right ourselves or recalibrate our internal compass – sometimes taking minutes, sometimes taking years. It is much like the water cycle: evaporation, condensation, precipitation, and collection. First the individual molecules of emotion (anger, hurt, shame, expectation, hope, attachment) are evaporated by our internal sun and become vapor in our stomachs; then they condense into powerful arrows that we want to aim and shoot. Once the vapor has transformed to liquid and the air claps together from the lightning’s void, our feelings release with heavy precipitation. Finally, after the rain has fallen, we are able to recollect ourselves and become intimate again with the deep blue body of water that is our true self. I guess the goal is to honor this cycle and to try to move as quickly through the sequence as we can so we are able rightfully claim our authentic existence, unabashedly real and powerful.


  1. I needed to hear this today.

    It's so easy to waste time regretting getting off track. We must remember to move on quickly!

  2. Thanks for your beautiful writing, Jess! I want to share something that Stephen told me the other day when I was recounting the story of my recent dating experience to him. When I asked him what he thought about this guy, he responded, "Kristin, it's not about them, it's about you. It's about how you choose to respond." Somehow I feel his insight is appropriate regarding this recent post.


  3. Thanks for the comment KT. It's also helpful to try to not take some things personally and kick any shame over one's decisions and actions right out the door.